A Dance with Depression...

Depression & I have learned to 1-2 Step...

Not because I wanted to learn the steps, but because over time I realized resisting it completely only made the rhythm harder to follow. There are still days when the weight shows up quietly. Days when motivation is low. Days when intrusive or ruminating thoughts try to take center stage. And yet… life still has to move forward.

So I’ve had to learn something different. I’ve had to learn how to work with myself instead of against myself. There was a time when low days felt like failure. If I couldn’t show up as my most energetic, focused, or joyful self, I believed something was wrong with me. I would criticize myself internally and push harder than my mind and body could sustain.

Now I understand something I didn’t before. Low days are not a character flaw.

They are information.

On those days, I keep things simple.

Small tasks. Clear boundaries.

Grace instead of pressure.

Sometimes the most powerful thing I can do is simply show up. And when I do, I don’t belittle the version of me that showed up with less energy.

I meet her with compassion.

I remind her gently:

“You’re doing the best you can today.”

One of the most important things I’ve learned is the value of safety nets. Spaces and people where I can be honest about where I am emotionally without pretending everything is fine.

For me, that can look like texting my best friend Kelly and saying,“I’m not my best self today.” That one sentence invites understanding instead of performance. It opens the door for encouragement, check-ins, and sometimes just the comfort of knowing someone sees me.

On those days I may lighten my workload if possible, or shift the energy of the work I’m doing. Sometimes I even lean into the topic itself — facilitating conversations about self-care and compassion in low seasons. Ironically, helping others remember how to be gentle with themselves often reminds me to do the same.

I’ve also learned that small things can help shift my energy. Sometimes it’s cozy clothes — a sweater and joggers that let me feel safe in my body. Other days, a cozy setting or special pick me up treat- coffee in my favorite mug, special meal just for me, or just sitting on my couch with my fuzziest blanket.

Depression is not one-size-fits-all.

It shows up differently for everyone — in frequency, in intensity, and in the way it shapes our days.

A Message to the Reader:

I no longer shun those parts of myself.

I don’t withhold love from myself when my energy is low.

Instead, I listen. Sometimes my depressive states are simply my mind and body asking me to notice something — overwhelm, worry, or emotional fatigue that needs attention. When I approach those moments with curiosity instead of shame, they lose some of their power.

A truth many of us forget:

Your sad self deserves love. Your anxious self deserves love. Your frustrated self deserves love. Not just the polished version of you. Not just the productive version of you.

All of you.

Often we believe only our “best” selves are worthy of care and admiration. We quietly begin to believe we must perform that version of ourselves in order to be loved. But that isn’t true. The most important relationship we will ever build is the one we have with ourselves. And learning how to treat yourself with compassion — especially on the hard days — teaches the people around you how to do the same.

So if today is a low day for you…

Be gentle.

Take smaller steps.

And remember that showing up — even quietly — is still a form of strength.